The label from the company manufacturing wing mirrors for cars and bikes--"warning; objects seen in the mirror are behind you."

The American manufactured insect spray whose proud boast 'Kills all Insects'--"Warning - this spray is harmful to bees"

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- on a curling iron

"Do not use internally."--on a curling iron

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- on a frisbee

"Do not use while sleeping." -- on a hairdryer and curling iron

"Theft of this container is a crime." -- on a milk crate

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- on a box of rat poison

"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- on a bottle of winshield de-icing fluid

"Do not iron clothes on body." -- on an iron

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- on a Superman costume

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- on a lighter

"May be harmful if swallowed." -- on a hammer

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- on a package of airplane peanuts

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- on a thermometer

"Not dishwasher safe." -- on a TV remote control

"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- on the packaging for a wristwatch

"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- on a bag of chips

"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- one of the emergency procedures at a summer camp

"Open packet. Eat contents." -- instructions on the back of a package of airline peanuts

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." --on a Swedish chain saw

"Use like regular soap." -- on a bar of Dial soap

"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- in a car manual

"Optional modem required." -- on computer software packaging

"Warning knife may cut."--on a slicer

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the World, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey, pop singer

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.